entanglements | introduction

Said no one ever, “I wish I’d spent more time on my phone.”

Welcome friends, Coalition of the Willing, to Entanglements!

I very much appreciate your willingness to join this experiment to take back our attention from these devices. They are, by design, in hardware and software, meant to keep our attention with very little thought to the human toll device-dependence is having on our mental health, sleep, relationships, and even our physiology.

Why am I doing this?

I truly believe that, despite the chaos of the world, us humanoids still have a lot of agency and say over how we feel, how we choose to react, and what we take pleasure in engaging with on a day-to-day basis. Having been an early adopter of tech (“…just one more thing…”), but also always already skeptical, I’m keen to share insights about attention and how designers think about us (“users”) gleaned from a short stint as an old person taking user experience design course with people 20 years younger. I won’t go off on one about THE YOOFS. I will say: if the ahistorical, context-collapsed students I was in class with are the ones driving tech today…I am ASKEERT, and all this makes sense. And I want to resist the inevitability BigTech tries to sell us every minute of our every waking hours.

What’s the goal?

This is an experimental practice. To be curious is to be alive and, if we maintain that curiosity, we can practice something new every day. One practice I enjoy is meditation and learning from Buddhist tenets. This practice covers many countries and traditions; it has also been monetized and commodified–McMindfulness, if you will. So there may be references to specific Buddhist teachings and drawing on meditation practices; see what fits how you want to be in relation to tech and digital devices and leave the rest. One teacher, Oren Jay Sofer, introduced me to the concept of “titration” in trying out new ideas. Yessss! I love science topics applied to non-science things and everyday living. To titriate: see what’s on offer here, try it how, feel it out, and if it doesn’t quite work for you, leave it and move on. Or try your own way. I am hoping we can explore ways of being together. I am not offering disentanglement. But just maybe, if we examine the different threads that are binding us to electronic devices and certain digital experiences, we can find some freedom to move how we want to in the world, according to our own values and principles.

What will this experiment look like?

This is the plan: periodic emails to let you know that there’s a new post to check out. In each post, I plan to:

1. sketch out a problem, that is, tackle one entanglement (e.g. email sucks, notifications are meant to make you crazy, fall in love with Do Not Disturb, social media is a scourge, get over FOMO, etc.)
2. share an observation from social psychology, brain science, somatics, functional anatomy, amateur astrology, or other fields to help us find meaning in the problem and motivation to resist, change, or accept what’s happening, and
3. offer a practice to help us see how we behave, feel, react, and think in moments of entanglement.

Disclaimers and expectations

I will try to be aware of ablist language and expectations in thinking through the entanglements, finding meaning and implications in them, and in the practices we’ll do together. I will need help and will be seeking consultation in advance. That said, don’t hesitate to correct, suggest alternatives, or otherwise contribute to our mutual growth and drive for doing better.

I’m not a therapist, though I have one, believe in therapy, and think lots of us are walking around needlessly suffering. So while there may be therapeutic insights, I’m not here to psychologize nor critique the application of psychology…because I already did that with great company here.

You do not have to come from or adhere to any particular set up beliefs. I might have some. I might express some. Try them out. Try them on. Adapt them. Bring in your own knowledges and values.

There are some good things about having tiny computers and the knowledge they can hold. I’m not anti-tech. Control issues aside, I do, though, hate being manipulated. And mis/disinformation.

I am not responsible for your relationship to your device, for better or worse. If I say, “Chuck that shit into the nearest river,” please don’t. That’s not nice to rivers.

Unlike an academic article, or even really responsible nonfiction, this experiment will be footnote-free. I may cite some studies, teachers, apps, technologists, developers, and others in-text. If there’s an idea that you think might have more behind it and want to share a reference, or want to ask me to give evidence, I’m open to both! I will maintain a glossary on this page.

There’s no homework! Read the posts when you have time. Or make time. If you don’t understand a post, concept, idea, rando musing’s connection, or anything else, talk to me face-to-face, drop me an email, text/Signal chat me, send me a letter or postcard. [I just resisted the impulse to create Yet Another Form or Signal group chat! 💯).

I welcome more people to join at anytime. The form to join is on this page and will remain open.

What’s next?

The next post will introduce some principles that will come up repeatedly. Nothing super high-tech, but enough for us to keep in mind as scaffolding our learning, feeling and understanding of our entanglements.

Until then…

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Before crafting this post, I’d never read the entire Mary Oliver poem that precedes these two famous lines.

Listen to Oliver or read the whole poem.

And then drop me a couple of lines to tell me: what aspects of digital life have you entangled?